Diddly Squat: ’Til The Cows Come Home by Jeremy Clarkson (Review #12)

Diddly Squat: ’Til The Cows Come Home by Jeremy Clarkson


The seeds are being sown, the soil turned, the farm shop restocked – that’s right, it’s time for another riotous trip to Diddly Squat Farm with farmer-in-progress Jeremy Clarkson . . .

Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm.

At the end of Jeremy’s first year in the tractor’s driving seat, Diddly Squat farm rewarded him with a profit of just £144. So, while he’s the first to admit that he’s still only a ‘trainee farmer’*, there is clearly still work to be done.

Because while he’s mastered the art of moaning about nearly everything, some of the other attributes required of a successful farmer prove more of a challenge.

Who knew, for instance . . .

That loading a grain trailer was more demanding than flying an Apache gunship?

That cows were more dangerous than motor-racing?

Or that it would have been easier to get planning permission to build a nuclear power station than to turn an old barn into a farm restaurant?

But if the council planning department and the local red trouser brigade seem determined to frustrate his schemes at every turn, at least he’s got Lisa, Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald, his dry-stone-walling Head of Security to see him through.

Life on Clarkson’s Farm may not always go according to plan. There may not always be one. But there’s not a day goes by when Jeremy can’t say ‘I’ve done a thing’ and mean it . . .


Like the first Clarkson’s Farm book I flew through this book and could have easily read it in one sitting. The format was the same as the first book which I love and the illustrations that marked the different chapters were beautiful. 

The main thing I loved about this book was that Lisa, Kaleb and Charlie featured more and they had their say which didn’t happen in the first book. Like the first book Clarkson really highlights the plight of farmers in the UK and all the red tape they have to work through and I think it was highlighted even more in this book because we learn about the situations of farmers who are local to Clarkson’s farm. 

I found this book even funnier than the first book and I actually enjoyed it more than the first. Clarkson calls himself a trainee farmer and he really is but he is also willing to learn and will try his hand at anything. Even if this means Kaleb coming along and shouting at him for doing it wrong. At least Clarkson is willing to try. 

I can’t wait for the next instalment of Clarkson’s farm and really hope that Clarkson does succeed with beating the council and getting his restaurant. I give this book 4 out of 5 Dragons. 


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About the author

Jeremy Charles Robert Clarkson (born April 11, 1960) is an English broadcaster and writer who specialises in motoring.

He writes weekly columns for The Sunday Times and The Sun, but is better known for his role on the BBC television programme Top Gear.

From a career as a local journalist in the north of England, he rose to public prominence as a presenter of the original format of Top Gear in 1988. Since the mid-1990s Clarkson has become a recognised public personality, regularly appearing on British television presenting his own shows and appearing as a guest on other shows. As well as motoring, Clarkson has produced programmes and books on subjects such as history and engineering. From 1998 to 2000 he also hosted his own chat show, Clarkson.



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